Confessions of a human nurse
Please don't make any sudden moves/ You don't know the half of the abuse ("Heathens"- 21 Pilots) It doesn't looks like you expect. It's not melodramatic like on TV shows. It's not always hidden. Sometimes the bruises are obvious and the stories are not. Like Dr House said, "Everyone lies" (for Biblical support look up any reference to the human heart and sin). Real hurt doesn't get understood. Either you've felt it and know what it's like or you haven't. For those who haven't lived a given nightmare, the closest we come is living it in our own nightmares as we try to sleep after hearing horror stories come to life and seeing justice and human bodies twisted and perverted. Horror is waking yourself up running to the door to save someone whose already dead. Horror is listening to histories of rape, sex slavery, forced abortion, voluntary abortion, betrayal and murdered loved ones and then seeing it all over again in your sleep. If you sleep. Horror is looking someone in the eyes and having to tell them their child is dead. Horror is listening to the pain and desperation in a voice over the phone and having no way to stop the bleeding, knowing it's too late. Horror is lying awake at night, playing a conversation over and over in your head and seeing all the things you could have said but didn't. Horror is realizing God alone can fix something and you're not Him and that He chose not to stop death and torture when He could have. Horror is realizing there's another person waiting with the same story or worse. Horror is finding yourself hoping this one ends differently then the last. And it doesn't. Hope is when you take the case anyway. Faith is when you take the one after that and after that and after that… no matter the outcome. No matter the cost. Love is when you care because God is worthy of such love, even when people choose to be unloveable. Even horrible.
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August 2018
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