Confessions of a human nurse
To the Children I Never Got to Meet: We were never officially introduced, so it may sound strange when I tell you I took your first and last pictures. You were in your own little world at the time, some of you weren't much more than a flicker of a heartbeat. Some of you were trying to suck your fingers with varying degrees of success. Some of you were sleeping. Others were doing somersaults and wiggling non-stop, stretching and pushing on the new restraints of your surroundings. Some of you waved for the camera while others turned your backs or covered your faces with your hands. It may seem strange that I can tell you all this and yet have to admit I never met you in person. I don't know that you have any memory of your time on earth. I hope you don't. The ending of your story here wasn't pretty. Whether it was six weeks or five months, you were here, you existed. You made your mom and dad parents, for the first time or the fifth. Each tiny hand, each tiny face, each kick you tried, each bubble you blew happened and was not erased when you left. Thank you for showing me the wonder of your Creator by doing what you were created to do for those few weeks or months. I wish we could have met in person and someday I believe we still will. Just not here. For now, you have an eternity of glory and worship before your Creator and I have a life of worship through service on this earth to complete. Maybe I'll get to meet some of you here in person. I want to so much, though I know you who are gone already wouldn't come back even if you could. So stay there. Someday, I will join you and the thousands upon ten thousands who have gone before and are still to come. And may God be able to say "Well done, good and faithful servant." Until then, forgive me. For thinking of myself and for holding back only to cry when it's too late. For not being able to stop what happened to you after the pictures. Remind me that the God you now see face to face is able to save no matter what and is worthy of more than I think I have to give. Remind me that you have and always will be His children. Sincerely, The Nurse Who Saw You on Ultrasound
2 Comments
Brenda Fiedler
11/22/2016 06:48:54 pm
As I read this I was thinking of the 5 babies, I never saw face to face. Some I just heard a heart beat, some I saw a heart beat, others just felt the effects of their young life as part of me. All I felt the full emotions when they were no longer part of me. Yes, i do expect to see them in heaven and have them meet their 4 brothers I had the privilege of raising to adulthood.
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HumanNurse
11/30/2016 04:36:12 pm
Thank you for sharing. I cannot imagine what you went through with your angel babies. Heaven is getting more beautiful by the day.
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