Confessions of a human nurse
I still see you sometimes. The look in someone's eyes when I break the news. The way she turned, reacted. His posture. Her demeanor. The body language of a stranger. The passing remark of a friend. An article someone shared. You are suddenly back. And I just wanted to say… I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I wasn't fast enough. I'm sorry I couldn't find the problem much less the cure. I'm sorry there were no answers to the questions you never got to finish asking. I'm sorry I couldn't make the past un-happen. I'm sorry I couldn't change what he did to you. I'm sorry I couldn't give you a reason to stop hurting yourself. I'm sorry I couldn't stop you from hurting. I'm sorry I couldn't help you see past now and hold on a little longer. I'm sorry I couldn't give you a reason to stay here on earth. I'm sorry I couldn't stop you making the greatest mistakes of your life. I'm sorry I couldn't stop you making the choices you did. I'm sorry I can't make you un-do and un-feel the consequences. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough. I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough. I'm sorry I can't make it all go away. I'm sorry it wasn't enough. There are some who come back again. Always the same line, "You probably don't remember me… " Yes, yes, I do. I remember all of you. The look in your eyes, the panic, the fear, the pleading, the tears, blank determination, painful ignorance. I remember your voices: angry, hurting, bitter, trapped, bargaining, threatening, confused. I remember your backs as some of you walked away. Oh, yes, I remember you. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't enough. Sincerely, Just a Human Nurse
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AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
August 2018
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